The First Week
You have the death certificates now, or they're on the way. Here's what the first week looks like.
What to do this week
Contact their mobile carrier
Call their phone carrier and notify them of the death. Do two things: first, ask them to flag the account to prevent SIM swapping (a fraud technique where thieves port the number to a new SIM to receive authentication codes). Second, confirm the account is frozen against changes. Do not cancel the phone line yet. You need the number for account recovery on their other services. This can wait weeks.
Identify recurring charges
Get access to their bank account and credit card statements — online or paper — and make a list of every recurring charge: subscriptions, memberships, insurance premiums, utilities, loan payments. You don't need to cancel them all this week. You need to know what they are so nothing surprises you. Make the list. Cancellations come in the first month.
Contact their health insurance provider
Notify promptly to stop premium payments. If they had dependents on their insurance, this notification starts the clock on COBRA or marketplace enrollment windows, which have strict deadlines. Don't wait on this one.
Contact their auto and home/renters insurance
Notify the insurers. If you're keeping the car, the policy needs to be transferred. If the home is occupied, maintain coverage — an unoccupied home may lose coverage after 30–60 days depending on the policy. Don't let coverage lapse on property you're still responsible for.
Begin identifying financial accounts
Banks, credit cards, investment accounts, retirement accounts (401k, IRA), brokerage accounts. Look through their mail, their email (if you have access), and their files. Make a list. You don't need to close them this week — you need to know what exists.
Contact their mortgage company or landlord
If they owned a home with a mortgage, notify the lender. Payments may still be due depending on who is responsible for the property. If they rented, notify the landlord and understand the lease terms for ending the tenancy.
If there's a will, locate it
Find the will and identify the executor named in it. If there's no will, the estate will be handled under your state's intestate succession laws, and you'll likely need to petition the probate court to be appointed administrator. This is a longer process — begin it now rather than later.
What can still wait
- Streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, Spotify, etc.) — they'll charge one more billing cycle. That's fine. They're not urgent.
- Loyalty programs and memberships — airline miles, hotel points, club memberships. No urgency. Some programs have survivor transfer processes worth exploring, but they can wait.
- Social media — no deadline. See the digital accounts guide for memorialization options when you're ready.
- Email archival — keep the email account open. You'll need it for months.
The first week often has a mechanical quality to it — phone calls, paperwork, logistics — that can feel like a strange protection from the grief underneath. Some people find it helpful to have tasks to do. Others find it unbearable that the world requires tasks right now. Both are normal. Do what you can. Leave the rest.
And know this: the 22-year-old reading from a script at the insurance company is not your enemy. They don't know what to say. Neither do you. Say the words. It gets slightly less strange each time, until one day you realize you've said it enough times that it has become, if not easy, at least possible.